A letter from an innocent student to his father......

A letter from an innocent student to his father----by Dr. DrunkDonkey

Dear father,
I know you must be very deeply hurt. All your dreams about me must have just got shattered, not that they would have been fulfilled anyways.

The news that i have been indefinitely suspended from the school premises must have come as a shock to you. As a matter of fact, it came as a surprise for me too. And if it helps you in any way, then after a brief severe contemplation over the facts leading to my suspension, i quite clearly realize that the school authority was at fault, and that i had almost no role in this entire foul play. And if you don't quite believe me, then just read on.

When i asked the school principal for my reasons of suspension, he enumerated the following points:-

1) I was caught sleeping in the same class for a consecutive 12 days. Now father, if you must remember, those were the days when i used to party late in the night. So, it is quite obvious that i must have felt sleepy at school. Plus, it was history class. I never asked history to go and get boring. and all i was doing was just sleeping. There i was, just minding my own business, not disturbing anyone, but still I get punished as if i have done such a big mistake. I know by now you must be feeling sorry for me. But wait just read on.

2) I went and kissed my English ma'm and then got slapped by her. Before i proceed, you must note this fact that I am a teen with shooting hormones and she is a woman with unparalleled beauty. Right from childhood, you have been telling me to appreciate all objects of beauty. The great poet, John Keats once said,"A thing of beauty is a joy forever." And that was all i was doing, just appreciating the beauty. The fact that I won a bet of 45 cents is not worthy of mention, because that's not the reason why i kissed her. I kissed her because she was beautiful, and i was merely appreciating that. I was just following yours, and John Keat's words. Was that too wrong?.Is that worthy of suspension ?. Is following you fathers words a crime ?..I know you must be feeling how deviously I have been mistaken here. But don't worry Dad, this is what life is all about. Beauty, kisses, 45 cents and suspension. The system is so wrong and i am just the latest sufferer of it.

3) I scored a GPA of 1.2 out of 10. Now here you and me would both agree on a point that knowledge cannot be quantitative. It cannot be judged. And so these GPA's have no significance whatsoever. Plus the night before four of my papers, i had gotten high with my friends. I am at no fault here because I don't even know what drug i did. And so such a low GPA is a mistake of the drug and not me. I certainly know more than this. But the drug influenced me not to write my papers well, or as a matter of fact, at all. So now i hope that i have made myself clear as to why the GPA is low. And i hope you realize that your son is much more knowledgeable than that. Its just that the system is so wrong. They must schedule exams for I-go-high-before-exam-night students. That way everything would have been so impartial.

So Father, those were the only reasons why I got suspended. And as you can see, I was clearly not at fault. I have been wronged always. But you don't worry Dad, I am not depressed or anything. I know the worst thing that can happen is if i get depressed now. So i have been keeping myself quite high with a fresh lot of weed and other such stuff. In fact I am writing this letter with 4 needles stuck in me. So as you can see, your son is pretty brave and can come out of tight situations armed with needles and weed. As to my English Ma'm I made up with her by kissing her and then sleeping with her daughter. Her looks don't approve of that, but deep down both of us know, that it is the right thing. And as for my low GPA, i assure you that in my next semester after suspension i will make a huge leap to 1.8 atleast and that should silence all my critics.

So there you go, I hope I have lightened your heart by saying all those things. I know you love me even if i refuse to do the thing which you ask me to do when mom is away. But still I know you have a soft spot for me, or rather pink spot.
Well i guess I have to stop here now. The fourth naked girl to my right got a needle in the wrong place. So i guess i have to dig it out and put it inside the right areas....Thats all for now Dad, will keep you updated lately.
Enjoy your life.
Enjoy my mom,
Beware of my mom when enjoying with maid.
bye
Take Care
Your loving son.

Ps - i hope your herpes got better. If it did then please tell me how did you manage to get out of it. Coz I think I might have it too. My English ma'm's daughter pointed it out after I did her.