An ordinary day from my simple life.

An ordinary day from my simple life---by Dr.DrunkDonkey....(blacked out)

Even before i wake up today i must remind you that i slept very late last night. Or atleast that was what i wanted to believe. Not quite surprisingly, i was feeling very tired that morning, and that is usually what i feel when i am trying to wake up, actually mom is trying to wake me up while i am trying to sleep. The act of waking up after sleep is much more tiring than anything else. For some split seconds one even thinks, "What is the purpose of this life, when one cant even sleep for sufficient time ?" But just like any other young person's life, there is no room for such questions..

So i woke up, with a thousand abuses against God, sleep, pillow, parents, my-ex, the guy who gave me a donut the day before and my present girlfriend who didnt allow me to sleep early that night. Somehow or the other, they were all responsible for my reduced hours of enormous sleep. With that kind of a foul mind, i was sure the day would be disaster. I knew in advance that the day would be a disaster, there was history test at school, plans with my girlfriend for a secret kiss at school, plans with friends to beat the crap out of the ranker of the school and plans to help my mother to cook dinner for guests who were coming home that night. And i was mighty lousy for any of these tasks.

So i just knew that the day would be a disaster. But good for me, I had found the person to blame. God, sleep, pillow, parents, my-ex, the guy who gave me a donut the day before and my present girlfriend who didnt allow me to sleep early that night. These are always the usual entities whom i blame in such cases.

But time heals every wound and cold water snatches every bit of drowsiness. And with a bit of both i managed to resemble more like a human in my form. Suddenly feeling very cheerful after my transformation, i greeted the new day, feeling strong enough to fight out all the miseries it had in store for me.

But ,as every teen would agree with me, seldom does a teen's plan work.
And so the same thing happened with me.
I almost crapped my pants on seeing the question paper of history. Questions were asked about things i didnt know that they existed. Worse still, the other guys around me somehow were writing their answers. They knew everything. Immense fear captured me for the briefest instant. But being a strong a guy, and a pretty lame one that too, i decided to tackle the situation. i picked up my pen, and used my imagination. All answers were the most creative in approach. I was sure that if some great fictional writer ever read my answers i would be up for a treat. But as luck would have it, my history teacher wasnt such a person. He gave me an E. I was used to it. But what i wasnt used to was that he sent me to the Principal's office to report my poor grades.
The rest, as can be safely assumed, is not a thing to be written.

The last thing that a guy wants to see when he is humiliated is his girlfriend. But damned me, there walked my girlfriend right upto me and with that faithful dog type face asked the cheapest of questions, "Is my baby alright ?". Vengeance against human race was strongest in me. But women are a tough race to beat and there we were, on the school roof terrace, a secluded place, ready for our umpteenth kiss in school. The lips engrossed in their activities while my mind was thinking of excuses for the E grade. SHe pushed her weight on me and like a good guy i pressed myself against the wall. That was what i had thought until i heard the crash of broken glass falling on the school yard. I turned around and was gladly greeted with the sight of a broken window pane thanks to my body weight pressed again the lousy window frame which had given away repulsively from my posterior end.

Suicide was the only option left but fear to commit it was hindering my way. Without a doubt, I was back in the principal's office which seemed so familiar. The rest as i should say, is better left than written. Lets just call it, another black episode featuring me and my beloved school principal. Now i had to think of another excuse for the broken window, plus one for the E grade. Life is so hectic.

The rest of the day proceeded as usual. I slept through my classes. My girlfriend kept on sending me silly notes.

Sun descended below the horizon and so did our brains. Along with my friends i was supposed to harass the school ranker, the same guy who had given me a donut the day before. We dutifully followed the guy from his home. We skillfully had him kneeled before us. We wonderfully hurled abuses at him. But just when it struck showtime i had a change of heart. After all, he did give me a donut. So i told my friends to leave him alone and hit our homes. But boys of my age lack a thing people call senses. And so i ended up being in the enemy group.
The rest is better not written. Fourteen guys against two idiots=two idiots doomed to death. I was sure I was dead until me cell phone beeped with frantic mom asking me to come home as early as possible. Dead though I was, my moms threats instilled all the life to my legs. And i hurried back home, thinking of a excuse for my bruised face and torn shirt. So now I had three excuses to think of and time was running out.

I reached home to a locked door. Mom and Dad had gone out with the guests for dinner. I thanked God for this lucky escape. Devotedly i went to sleep, the excuses were postponed for a later time. A tiring day was finally coming to an end. Good gracious sleep was about to wrap me, when my cell phone beeped again.
"Aw baby would you like to talk for sometime ? I am feeling so lonely now "........And I was cursed for a life of such misery.

A letter from an innocent student to his father......

A letter from an innocent student to his father----by Dr. DrunkDonkey

Dear father,
I know you must be very deeply hurt. All your dreams about me must have just got shattered, not that they would have been fulfilled anyways.

The news that i have been indefinitely suspended from the school premises must have come as a shock to you. As a matter of fact, it came as a surprise for me too. And if it helps you in any way, then after a brief severe contemplation over the facts leading to my suspension, i quite clearly realize that the school authority was at fault, and that i had almost no role in this entire foul play. And if you don't quite believe me, then just read on.

When i asked the school principal for my reasons of suspension, he enumerated the following points:-

1) I was caught sleeping in the same class for a consecutive 12 days. Now father, if you must remember, those were the days when i used to party late in the night. So, it is quite obvious that i must have felt sleepy at school. Plus, it was history class. I never asked history to go and get boring. and all i was doing was just sleeping. There i was, just minding my own business, not disturbing anyone, but still I get punished as if i have done such a big mistake. I know by now you must be feeling sorry for me. But wait just read on.

2) I went and kissed my English ma'm and then got slapped by her. Before i proceed, you must note this fact that I am a teen with shooting hormones and she is a woman with unparalleled beauty. Right from childhood, you have been telling me to appreciate all objects of beauty. The great poet, John Keats once said,"A thing of beauty is a joy forever." And that was all i was doing, just appreciating the beauty. The fact that I won a bet of 45 cents is not worthy of mention, because that's not the reason why i kissed her. I kissed her because she was beautiful, and i was merely appreciating that. I was just following yours, and John Keat's words. Was that too wrong?.Is that worthy of suspension ?. Is following you fathers words a crime ?..I know you must be feeling how deviously I have been mistaken here. But don't worry Dad, this is what life is all about. Beauty, kisses, 45 cents and suspension. The system is so wrong and i am just the latest sufferer of it.

3) I scored a GPA of 1.2 out of 10. Now here you and me would both agree on a point that knowledge cannot be quantitative. It cannot be judged. And so these GPA's have no significance whatsoever. Plus the night before four of my papers, i had gotten high with my friends. I am at no fault here because I don't even know what drug i did. And so such a low GPA is a mistake of the drug and not me. I certainly know more than this. But the drug influenced me not to write my papers well, or as a matter of fact, at all. So now i hope that i have made myself clear as to why the GPA is low. And i hope you realize that your son is much more knowledgeable than that. Its just that the system is so wrong. They must schedule exams for I-go-high-before-exam-night students. That way everything would have been so impartial.

So Father, those were the only reasons why I got suspended. And as you can see, I was clearly not at fault. I have been wronged always. But you don't worry Dad, I am not depressed or anything. I know the worst thing that can happen is if i get depressed now. So i have been keeping myself quite high with a fresh lot of weed and other such stuff. In fact I am writing this letter with 4 needles stuck in me. So as you can see, your son is pretty brave and can come out of tight situations armed with needles and weed. As to my English Ma'm I made up with her by kissing her and then sleeping with her daughter. Her looks don't approve of that, but deep down both of us know, that it is the right thing. And as for my low GPA, i assure you that in my next semester after suspension i will make a huge leap to 1.8 atleast and that should silence all my critics.

So there you go, I hope I have lightened your heart by saying all those things. I know you love me even if i refuse to do the thing which you ask me to do when mom is away. But still I know you have a soft spot for me, or rather pink spot.
Well i guess I have to stop here now. The fourth naked girl to my right got a needle in the wrong place. So i guess i have to dig it out and put it inside the right areas....Thats all for now Dad, will keep you updated lately.
Enjoy your life.
Enjoy my mom,
Beware of my mom when enjoying with maid.
bye
Take Care
Your loving son.

Ps - i hope your herpes got better. If it did then please tell me how did you manage to get out of it. Coz I think I might have it too. My English ma'm's daughter pointed it out after I did her.