Atlanta

I live and work just outside this city so I can verify all this to be true.

ATLANTA, GEORGIA, USA

This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, who has ever lived in Atlanta, has visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who lives in Atlanta, knows anyone who has ever visited Atlanta or anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta, Georgia.

Atlanta is composed mostly of one way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.

All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase,"When you see the Waffle House." Except that in Cobb County, all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."

Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road, Peachtree Parkway, Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Ave, Peachtree Commons, Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Corners, New Peachtree, Old Peachtree, West Peachtree, Peachtree-Dunwoody, or Peachtree Industrial Boulevard.

Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions they will always send you down Peachtree.

Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. That's all we drink here, so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. And even then it's still "Coke."

Gate One at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport is 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.

It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and has posted signs to that effect, so that out-of-towners don't feel lost...they're just on a "scenic drive."

The 8:00am rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30am. The 5:00pm rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and lasts through 2:00am Saturday.

"Sir" and "Ma'am" are used by the person speaking to you if there's a remote possibility that you're at least 30 minutes older than they are.

A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. (The Atlanta pronunciation is "pahnss duh LEE-on").

The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules; so will daylight saving time, a girl applying eye shadow in the next car, or a flat tire three lanes over.
If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet
paper, and beer. If there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that all schools will close at the slightest possible chance of snow.

If you are standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're expected to get on and go somewhere.

Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of Old Faithful erupts.

Construction crews are not doing their jobs properly unless they close down all major streets during rush hour.

Atlantans are very proud of our racetrack, known as Road Atlanta. It winds throughout the city on the Interstates, hence it's name.

Actually, I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta and has a posted speed limit of 55mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."

Georgia 400 is our equivalent of the Autobahn. You will rarely see a semi-truck on GA 400, because even the truck drivers are intimidated by the oversized SUV-wielding housewives racing home after a grueling day at the salon or the tennis match to meet their children at the school bus coming home from the college prep preschool.

The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.

The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy, which starts at 120! . Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range. All roads, vehicles, houses, etc. are yellow from March 28th to July 15th. If you have any allergies you will die.

But other than that, it's a great place to live!

Thank Will Harrell for some awesomeness.

Who are we ?

A unique part of something bigger – a not-so-unique identity that every one can associate with. Randomness, in its most simplistic invisible form, is the most under appreciated piece of artwork that surrounds us in this world. Things, that we do not see, things, of whose existence we acknowledge, but whose beauty we ignore. The world is handcrafted to perfection, and it is this element of randomness, that binds it all together.

Do we have really have the time or the perception to appreciate? Not a person, not an emotion, but the grander scheme of existence. Life, in its melodramatic fashion, associates and distracts us with emotions and feelings that blur the macroscopic vision.

Who are we today ?

“Oh, I have always been like this. This is who I am.” But really, is this who you are? The set of beliefs and emotions that you give importance to, govern the simple transitioning unique identity you are trying to achieve. Note-transitioning. Nor are you beliefs immovable, nor are your emotions unflappable. Human character has been evolved to adapt. We mastered evolution. We survived, because we could change.

We changed for the better. There is no living proof of a human having ever achieved the zenith of excellence, which just means that you, as an individual, have yet to change. In the quintessential debate of “Nature vs Nurture”, do not chose sides. These are not two sides of the same coin. Nature and nurture overlap each other almost identically.  Gracefully admit the part that it is in your nature to nurture. You are not deviating from one, just because you are choosing the other. The dynamics of your personality transition everyday. Every single second, if you chose to have an open mind, you can learn something that will modify your inner self in ways that you never could think of. Any miniscule experience changes you. You sub-consciously nurture yourself.

Don’t be afraid of change. Be afraid of staying the same. We breathe, we live, we think, we grow. Self exploration, is the easiest way to make the greatest discovery you can ever make, who are you ? As an explorer, we will never reach culmination. Change is not our choice, it is in us. Every emotion has a reason. Every obstacle has a solution. With proper logic and two cents of strength, every single thing about us can change for the better. The best shall forever be elusive.

The best things in life are unseen, that’s why we chose to close our eyes when we kiss and dream.

Science in Relationships......

Its been a long time since i last wrote anything. My mind has literally lost its sheen. The pillars of creativity and the flashes of imaginations are no longer existent.
Since the last time i did anything creative, to this current point, Fate has been generous enough to put me through another relationship. And this was supposed to be "The one", "The relationship that lived","The relationship of a wimpy kid","The Lion, The witch and The relationship" etc etc....
Needless to say, my mind was constantly occupied at sabotaging a smooth running relationship. 

Newtons law of inertia states that "An object at rest will stay at rest, forever, as long as nothing pushes or pulls on it. An object in motion will stay in motion, traveling in a straight line, forever, until something pushes or pulls on it." 

Vikrams law of relationship states that "Any  relationship that is stable will stay stable, forever, as long as nothing (in this case, an overthinking brain) pushes or pulls on it."

Once the state of stability is disrupted, the nature of the relationship moves from a Newtonian frame to a thermodynamic frame.

"The second law of thermodynamics states that the entropy of an isolated system never decreases, because an isolated system spontaneously evolves towards thermodynamic equilibrium -- the state of maximum entropy of an isolated system. "

In this case, "The instability of an unstable relationship never decreases, because an unstable relationship spontaneously evolves towards thermodynamic equilibrium -- the state of maximum instability of an unstable relationship".

And then we achieve "Activation Energy"- "The minimum energy required by both the individuals in the relationship, to engage in an argumentative sporadic and illogical conversation similar to an irreversible exothermic reaction  resulting in a break-up"



To the less nerdy mind, I basically was in a very good relationship, that didn't end very well, due to my constant need of messing it up. 
In my defense, I BLAME NEWTON, THERMODYNAMICS AND FUCKING CHEMISTRY FOR ALL THIS. This shit was bound to happen. In the battle of Science vs Religion, i have always taken the side of Science. BUT SCIENCE FUCKED ME OVER. NEXT TIME I AM STICKING TO MY RELIGION.


But now, as of this current point, i am jobless. I am bored out of my fucking mind. The brain craves for something to think about, someone to explore. The switch between "being constantly busy trying to annoy my girlfriend" to "I already masturbated 5 times, what should i do now?" is very alarming to the a person's well-being.

And so, here at this critical juncture in my life, I am having a premature mid-life crisis. What the fuck is one supposed to do ? 

I am not skillful enough to pick up a hobby and not patient enough to learn a new one. I am not motivated enough to do something in life and not smart enough to do things without motivation. 

90% of the times, it is awesome being one of the lousiest persons alive, but during these stressful post breakup times, lousiness is not awesome. 

But then again, Biology teaches me that " life can adapt and respond to the demands placed on it by the environment" . "Higher organisms that undergo a prolonged change in their environment exhibit somatic adaptation." Its part of FUCKING EVOLUTION. So where all of Physics and Chemistry have failed me, I still have hopes in Biology to help me make that change.

Peace Out !!!

Lets set the future in stone

Like every young child dreams of being a pilot/race car driver/actor/wrestler/sports guy/anything that's flashy and bling bling.....i decided to be an author...like legit...all i wanted to do was write write write...until one day in my 5th standard i heard my English teacher shout, "That kid is so bad at writing he shouldn't be left alone in a room with pen and paper !!!"

Immediately after hearing such a statement....I could see my future....a ram shackled door in a desolate background opening up to an underground mansion. I am undoubtedly the most talented person..but i am undoubtedly a very hated person. I could hear people say "Vikram Patnaik's death was a good career move" but some people who were a bit moire kind, said ," Poor Vikram, went to Heaven no doubt, But God wont like him."....

It sapped up all my motivation. I had nightmares. I had night falls. I had night boners. It affected me so much. My childhood dream was getting wasted right in front of me and all i could do was jack off to my English teacher's image. It was heart wrenching. Though it felt good right before i ejaculated.

After the dream of author went by,came the dream of the sports guy...any sport would do me good for that matter. The motto was, "If a group of men do anything with balls on the field, some men and a group of irreligious women have to watch".. I couldnt go wrong here...except i had to choose which sport....

Soccer - If i played soccer in my Dads backyard, he would draw the curtains. So i decided, soccer players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.

Jogging/running- Exactly how tough is that sport ? when you were two years old and you ran after a dog you pretty much had it mastered. But still, the first time i see a jogger smiling, i will consider it.

Golf-- I am easily the greatest golfer in the world, apart from that i have never played golf. When i played, i learnt that the golf ball travels the farthest when hit in the wrong direction. And then again, Golf is just an expensive way of playing marbles.

Tennis- If i were a tennis player, even the nun would have a better social life than me.

Cricket--I knew i could score more than my sperm count. But i still took up bowling. And every time i bowled i had the batsman in two minds, whether to hit me for a 4 or a 6.

Wrestling- My opponent would be covered in blood every time, my blood.

Gymnastics- I decided against it, while watching the Olympics at 3 30 am and seeing expressionless European girls jumping over some furniture.

Skiing/Cycling/MotorSports - I am not interested in any sports that has an ambulance waiting at every corner.

After serious thoughts about my future in sports, i ultimately decided to be a referee. Its the simplest of all jobs. Whenever in doubt, always give the decision in the favor of the side that makes more noise. And whenever someone questions your decisions, you cam always give them the two rules, Rule 1 : the referee is always right ...and Rule 2 : In Case the referee is grossly wrong, then refer to Rule 1.
Its as simple as that.
Career decided.

The first night @ TECH

"Yeah Hii, I need to go from the Student Center to Hamptopn Inn." It was 11.30 pm in the night and the FASET girl had decided to help me...What Luck !!. Turning towards me she said,
"Dont worry, we will get you home safely. In future call this number if you wanna go anywhere in night."
"Oh yeah, I dont wanna go anywhere. I just wanna be with you all night. No worries no numbers. Just you and me." Of course i said this to myself. Beautiful girl and late night conversations always leave me tongue twisted and crotch wasted.
5 minutes later when the stingerette window opened,
"Yes sir, I want to go to Hampton Inn ".
" BUt that was a lady who called me. DO you have a lady voice ? "
"No sir, that was just the FASET girl"
"Dont do this to me man. I get confused. A girl calls up and a buy shows up.Now come on get in back there."
And that was the day, the first rule at tech was made for me..."NEVER CALL THE DAMN STINGERETTE"