men are from mars and women are from venus.......

(EVERYTHING HAS BEEN WRITTEN WITH A VERY SERIOUS INTENT)

So...as someone great said...men are from Mars and women are from Venus....now being an idiot, it makes me think, which life form the earthly people then ? People who harass others in local trains, or who get confused on which toilet to enter, come straight to my mind. Yes, its true, only the neutral gender belong to earth. Simple conclusion from this statement, the person who made such a foolish quotation was a darn son-of-a-gun.
Now, i being none less than him, make a similar statement, "Men are from jungles and women are from zoos." While one is an expert in beating around the bush (women), the other is equally skilled at licking around the bush(men).
To be very frank, this is probably the boldest statement i have ever made in my life. Well, of course, three or four girls who have pure hatred for me would disagree to this claim, but i still feel that this statement is one of the top five boldest statements ever made.

Boys, who usually call themselves guys, and refer to each other as "dudes" or "buddies" or other such gay-ish terms have an indefinite storage of attraction and testosterone for women. Women on the other hand, make it absolutely certain, that the lesser gender never gets to attain what they dream off. This calls for a complex problem that has a simple solution, "girls, take it easy, we are guys, have sympathy."

Just a couple of nights ago, me and my current girlfriend were discussing on how bright the moon was and how pure our love was. Actually by discussing, i mean, she was talking while i had slept after jacking off. The next morning, i realized what a funny business, this love thing is. I mean, its not a business for most of us, but the way we proceed about it feels funny. Why do we have to bring, moonlight, sunrays, roses, scents, candles, teddy bears, honey, honeybee, beehives and all such supposedly romantic things into our love. Why cant love be the way it is and let sun and moon rest in peace ?
Of course I wont ask this thing to my current girlfriend, 'coz as of now i am not prepared for another, "You are insincere." and "You don't understand me" kind of sentences. Maybe in a couple of days i will be prepared for a fresh dose. Then i might ask it. But the ultimate result will be the same as predicted.

I am a guy and i have simple needs. By simple needs, i am referring to, a girlfriend who keeps the mush out, a PlayStation, a free net connection, an unlimited array of food elements, and a book holding the answer key to all exams i would appearing in future. That's all a guy needs. That's all i need. But as they say, I am expecting too much from the world.

When my ever-darling fourth girlfriend asked me, 'how to keep a guy happy ?' I answered her in very appropriate and simple terms.
1) strip off once in a while. After the first few times i don't like what i see, but its just the intention that matters to me.
2) never question my sincerity. I am going to be sincere as long as you allow me to. The moment you start becoming a pain in the ass, i wont be sincere. And till you don't become anything like that, i will try my best to be a pain in your ass rather.
3) please keep the mush out of the window. There are a particular group of people who like all the mush to come and affect them. Most of them turn gay later. I have crossed that phase. I have successfully converted myself to straight from being gay with much difficulty. I don't want to take the chance again.
4) if i ever make a mistake, forgive me instantly. Yes, i can say you sorry, and i can feel really apologetic. But don't expect me to kiss your ass every time i do something stupid. I am a guy, and that gives me a right to be stupid. But if you want me to chase you home with all kinds of croaky words in a broken tone, referring to how sorry i am, then sorry ma'am, even i have petrol prices to think of.
5) i might be a dickhead, but sometimes you should treat me like "The guy". I accept that's hard and that it would be lying. But then again how many times have i lied on "how much i love you" for your sake.
6) if i am talking to another girl, don't freak out. Its just my way of keeping myself insured. I know that I am not that interesting to keep you interested in me much longer. You might dump me any moment. So, this other girl is just for future precaution. Its not a present flame.
7) sentences like, "say something" , "tell me about yourself" etc. should be banned. Apart from increasing the blood pressure and instigating the killer instincts in me, they do nothing else.

These are secret seven steps on how you can keep a guy happy. Well at least, these are what i said to her. No wonder she thanked me with a big,"Get lost" and numerous other abuses. And of course, i had to kiss her ass with numerous sorry's and 'forgive me' sentences, to which she dutifully replied, "I want to know the real you. But you are going away from me. "

The thing is, there are two kinds of guys. While in in the last blog they were dumb and dumber, in this article they are, the maniacs, and the thoughtless. While the earlier version are ready to cut down everything, starting from the lovely veins on the wrists to the pantyhose of their partner, the second segment of guys, are more armed in insensitivity, they will be fine till all is fine, they will still be fine if nothing is fine. In short they are the dickheads of a more steelier variety.

With due respect to all guys, i confess that we are usually not able to satisfy a girls emotional desires. And with fake orgasms and all, we might not be good even physically, but the thing is that we are guys. We are the action heroes not the strategy makers. Don't expect us to know everything without telling it. Don't expect us to do everything even if you tell it directly. In short don't expect anything at all.

Girls should think of guys as lousy good for nothing penile drivers, and if somehow magically a guy manages something better, you will feel elated.
That is the secret to a true relationship.
I am going to make this clear to my next girlfriend right from the beginning so that she has no doubts about my manliness.
Till then take care
Peace.